Living In Line With Purpose

June 15, 2014  |   Values   |     |   0 Comment

One of the greatest and most rewarding pieces of work I do with the professional women I work with focusses on supporting them to get clear on what it is they truly value. This work enables us to create a picture of where they are living in balance with what they truly value, and where they are living at odds with their values.

When we are experiencing friction all around us we can be sure we are playing a role in that friction. When people are not operating in alignment with what truly matters to them, they often experience what I refer to as the values rub.

The values rub shows up in our lives when we are not being true to ourselves, causing us to feel at odds with our environment and often lead to feeling discontent and irritable. There are many reasons this may be happening; might be childhood beliefs about what your parents wanted for you which you have pursued only to discover that you are not fulfilling your own goals and dreams, but instead are living a life that lacks purpose and direction; might be that you chose a career that you thought was right for you, only to discover that it isn’t what you imagined and every day feels like a grind because there is nothing in your current career that truly feeds your passion; might simply be that what is most important to you today has changed, and you need to align life with what you now value most.

Stepping into what it is you really want takes courage especially when it does not align with the values and beliefs of others including those who you truly love and respect. But the alternative is to live a life untrue to you! When you are living at odds with your own values the internal noise can be exhausting.

If you are experiencing the value rub, identifying this is the first step to moving yourself forward to align your life with what matters most to you personally and professionally.

How can you return to your true highest values? According to Dr. John Demartini author of The Values Factor (2013), the first step is to simply ask yourself the following questions… ”what do you truly love doing – what activities inspire you – which situations do you find meaningful – what relationships do you feel deeply connected to? Discovering what you love and what inspires you will help connect you to your highest values.”

This may seem simple, but it works. If you are to choose a career that feeds your passion or find a life partner that connects deeply with what is important to you, you must first know what your highest values are. For me I know that making a difference is a key value of mine. If I am not living in alignment with this value I am not fulfilled. Over the course of my life, the work I have excelled in and the relationships I have built that matter most to me have always been connected to this value.

Today my gift to myself is to ‘be me’ everywhere I show up in my life. Not to be the person others think I ought to be, but to be true to myself. Today I am unwilling to live life without purpose and meaning and to do this I must understand and design my life to align with what I value most. To have this understanding enables me to make decisions that ‘fit’ with what matters to me. Knowing this is a gift; a gift for which I am grateful.


  • Looking at your life today both professionally and personally, what can you say gives you the most satisfaction?
  • What could you absolutely not live without?  This tells you what you value deeply.
  • Now look at all that you have uncovered and write down where you are living at odds with what matters most to you (value rub).
  • What two actions could you implement today that will help move you away from doing what is causing your value rub?

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