Finding Good Enough

June 01, 2014  |   Inner Critic   |     |   0 Comment

I have been absent the past couple of weeks due to being busy. Actually, in saying that I have been too busy I am letting myself off the hook. The truth is I have not posted a blog since May 17 because I have prioritized other areas of focus. When I began blogging my commitment to myself was to post weekly and I have now missed that self-imposed target. I have a couple of choices here, I can choose to beat myself up mentally for not meeting my self-imposed target of weekly posts, or I can choose to let it go and get back on track. I chose the latter, and here I am back blogging with a positive outlook as opposed to being annoyed with myself.

One of the most common beliefs many clients come to me with is a belief that they simply aren’t good enough and that they never measure up. It saddens me because they are brilliant talented and gifted individuals and they are truly selling themselves short with this belief. However, no matter what I or others think, if you think you’re not good enough, that belief will affect you both personally and professionally. Even when we are incredibly successful in the eyes of others, when we are dominated with thoughts of doubt, not measuring up and negative self- talk we are limiting our ability to truly reach our full potential because we are continually restrained by this thinking.

Is it conquerable? Of course, but it takes work and commitment to turn the negative volume down and turn the positive volume up. According to Shirzad Chamine’s research (Positive Intelligence), ”our potential is determined by many factors including our cognitive intelligence (IQ), our emotional intelligence (EQ) and our skills, knowledge, experience, and social network. But it is one’s positive intelligence (PQ) that determines what percentage of your vast potential you actually achieve.” According to Chamine, only 20% of teams and individuals achieve their true potential.

The good news is we can all increase our positive intelligence by becoming aware of the power of our internal saboteurs and most significantly the internal JUDGE. The JUDGE is the saboteur most instrumental in convincing you that you are not good enough. The JUDGE is skilled at convincing you that if you just achieve one more thing, you’ll be happy. The problem is that when you achieve that next promotion, negotiate that salary increase you wanted, buy that new car you saved for, etc., you often find that the achievement in and of itself does nothing to truly alter your belief of ‘not being enough’. The internal JUDGE is right there to let us know that what we have accomplished isn’t really ‘enough’ and the goal post just shifts to a new target to be reached. All of this causes us to feel and believe we are simply never enough; that we are always just a little short of success. This cycle is accompanied by feeling consistently unsatisfied. Not a state to live in when one is looking to reach their true potential.

In order to reach your true potential and find an inner peace and happiness you must change the messages you tell yourself. You must gain insight into how judging yourself, judging others and judging circumstances keeps you from excelling both personally and professionally.

Self-Check:

1. When do you most notice your judge of ‘not good enough’ showing up?
2. What are some strategies you might undertake to turn down the volume of your internal judge?